Dear you..
It's been more than a year, my last post. I've been too busy of my real life. Want to talk about it? I guess I do.
The right man. I thought I've found him. Yeah, the right man.
I knew him right after I got broken heart with the one I told you in my previous post.
He was a very nice man. The best among all I've known. He didn't a long time to make me fall into him, though I've tried hard not to. I've tried hard to keep my heart but still, he stole it from me.
              Yeah, after 2months getting closer to each other, after too much complain from our friends that we're just being too childish not to admit our feeling, finally I decided to talk with him. It was May, 3rd 2015, I called him, telling him that I want to meet him cz I have something to talk. He didn't even hesitate to say yes, immediately.
I hang up the phone and I struck speechless, actless, counting again the risk for what I have decided. I remembered my traumatic, again, about my previous relationship. It felt hard for me to have one, again. I was too afraid of having a relationship, again. I was tired of love, its drama, and of course how it ends. I was sick of it.
           I went to my bathroom and got a wash. Feeling fresh, I got dress. Haven't done with my veil, I heard he greeted me in front of my front door, "Assalamualaikum". And I told him to wait.
          I went to the living room and greeted him, I said "I'm ready" and we went out. He asked me where to go and I said I had no idea. He smiled.
          "Can we have a short date?" I asked. "Why should it be short if we can have it longer?" he answered, smiling.
          Finnaly we arrived in a nice place. When I arrived, I was suddenly remember my ex, cz it was the place where I usually spent my time with my ex. I tried to fight that feeling coming to my mind, traumatic. I convinced my self, I'm now here with different man, that may give me different story, that may be my future.
         We sat down and waited for our drinks. I started the conversation, too much intro, but I didn't mind. I saw him enjoying our conversation. He never talked that way before. I started to feel comfort and I told him what I actually wanted to talk about. He looked nervous and I tried to make up a joke. When he finally ready, I said what bothering my mind.
         The thing that I remember, at that time we made agreement to have a relationship. Yeah, we did. With some considerations, finally we decided to admit that starting that day, we're in relationship.
        Time flies... we have spent much time together. I started to love him deeper. He was really nice and in my heart I call him the right man. I am about sure to arrange my future with him. When I started to know his family, when he started to know my family. Too much story to be told actually, too many things happen. I once broke up with him. And it felt awfull. I was about to give up yet I tried to stay I tried to convince him that I won't disappoint him.
I just wonder how I  really want him. I really didnt wanna give up on him.
        When finnaly we started it again, we were getting much closer. We're planning for the future. My right man, he was about to make my dreams come true. I was so glad and I love him much deeper.
       Then finnaly I convince my self to tell my parents about him. It's hard. It was my first experience. I never told my parents about my previous relationship with my ex. He was the first man I brought to my parents. When they finally met and he talked to my parents about us, I felt like the time stopped. My heart beat faster and I am about to cry.
         Here we are. After all of things happen. I'm waiting for him.
I heard some people say, when you srart to arrange to get marry you'll find much problem that will make you feel like you won't be able to handle it, the problem that make you feel you should give up, or much harder than that. I was worrying about that people say before, until I realize maybe I experience it right now.
        It's been three days he doesn't wanna talk to me. He was angry because of some missunderstanding. If only you know dear, I trust you with all my heart. I never think bad thing of you. Yet, it happened already. It's been three days. I'm about thinking whether we can pass this or not. I really want to text him saying, "I love you, dear" yet I don't have my courage. I'm too afraid of making him angrier. I'm sorry dear. Ya Rabb, please keep us. Please help us. I hope everything will get better soon. Amin Ya Rabb..